Well I didn't really discover it, I just re-realized it, like it was the very first time.
I've discovered how liberating and satisfying studying the Word could really be! And I'm not talking about opening the Bible and reading a few lil' verses. No, I'm talking about getting in the Word and digging for truth and clarity; 'cause sometimes you just don't know who to believe when you're searching for the truth (and as far as what to believe when listening to other people like pastors, friends, etc.)
I'm beginning to really, really realize that I'm fairly new to this (walking independently with The Lord/realizing who I am) and at times I get super-hyped up when I watch videos containing new info on the Word and easily overwhelmed when I try to digest too many different "facts" all at the same time.
So I decided (with the encouragement from my hubby) to take things slow, get off YouTube every so often, and really allow the Father to take control of my life/lead me where He wants me to go and allow Him to decide what I learn and when I learn it.
By doing this, I understand that that means I'm allowing the Father to direct my paths in everything I do (which is what Proverbs 3:5-6 is all about)...
Now...although I have decided to begin living my life in this "new" manner, I recently pondered on these thoughts to myself:
•Am I suggesting to others that this is the easiest thing I've ever done, walking with the Lord?
•Am I suggesting that it is very easy letting the Lord strip me of certain desires and other things? The very thing(s) the World says you need in order to be considered a success.
•Better yet, am I implying that giving someone else control over one's life and not always knowing what's the next step is easy to do?
My answer: of COURSE NOT!
Quite frankly, this has been the most challenging and rewarding aspect and past year of my life!
This past year (2013) alone I've been through things that, most would agree, should've made me say "forget this!"
But instead of giving up on Him, I gave up on me...I gave up on my logic, on my passion for frivolous things... I gave up on this life.
Throughout the Word, it gives you many examples of people putting aside their desires, logic, and livelihood in order to fully walk with the Lord (just to name a few: Abraham, Moses, and all of the disciples)... And I know that to some people, I may sound crazy saying that it is my fullest desire to do the samething those people, my ancestors, did back then.
Ya know, in psychology what i'm doing is called delaying gratification... But truthfully, what I'm really doing is obeying my Messiah and waiting on the Kingdom to come.
I know, I know, I seem so very strange to a lot of people... mostly my family and a few friends (who have an inclination about what I'm doing, but could really careless either way). And although I'm aware that people are looking at me like I'm crazy, i've come to the point where I simply do not care what people they think anymore...
Now, my main focus in life is striving to be a godly woman; a woman filled with compassion, meekness, strength, confidence, love, honesty, courage, virtue, and wisdom. The list could go on and on but if I had to sum it up, I'd have to say the essence of what im pursuing is perfection in the eyes of the Father, to be how He designed the woman before the fall of Eve.
And, of course, to live my life the way He instructed all of His children/followers to do so... Follow His laws and commandments, accept His son as Messiah, be good to your fellow brethren, and stay away from idolatry/false gods.
I know those things I mentioned above may not seem easy to do (initially),and I would be lying if I'd say that I've never done wrong since walking this new path He has me on.... but honestly, I greatly enjoy pursuing this new way of life everyday and i'll continue to strive to be better/do better for the rest of my life...
Again, sometimes I mess up, sometimes I have to catch myself from being haughty/angry/jealous and just feeling 'blah', and sometimes I get so confused as to why The Lord has allowed this or that to happen to me but that never makes me want to give up.
This year alone, I have seen so many wonderful and wondrous things happen; in which I knew/know that the Father is the only one that could've possibly allowed that to occur, that it keeps me so motivated and moved to continue on this path He has me on; no matter how frustrated and confused I may get. And another reason why I never gave up is because I know that as long as I'm doing what He desires, I'll never fail in anything, no matter how bad it may look on the outside.
Overall, I can honestly say that I'm so grateful to have learned, and experienced, all that I have in 2013 and this year, so far.
I'd rather (repeatedly) experience the things I've learned/went through this year, than have to be constantly lied to and unknowingly lead astray each and every (Sun)day, month, and year!
One last thing, in the Word it says Ask and you shall receive...
And I notice everyone is asking for good health, big houses, nice cars and clothes...But nobody is asking for the truth, and that is what really sets you free...
-LionessOfGod
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